The Joy of Disappointment

I’ve been dreaming about the Trust Your Path Circle | A Sisterhood + Retreat for about six months.

On last night’s full moon, I surrendered and let her go … with joy.

Back in July or August of 2017, I created this grand vision of a gorgeous sisterhood and a dazzling retreat. I spent an entire morning at Starbucks sipping my grande Flat White and playing on Canva until I created the perfect logo. For months, I took notes upon notes of all the various ways that this program would emerge, what the calls would look like, who would be my guest speakers, and wow, where the retreat would be (it is stunning!).

This vision evolved many times, from being a co-creation with my dear friend Sandra, to being a 14 week immersive container (as opposed to a year-long program) that would happen twice a year, and everything in between.

Each version felt amazing. I saw myself right there, sharing and dreaming and coaching and teaching and learning from the incredible women that would make up the inaugural TYP Circle. Honestly, in many ways, I feel like I lived every minute of this Circle, in my mind and in my heart, before the applications officially opened.

On January 31, 2018, under the glow of the stunning Super Blue Blood Eclipse Moon, I closed the applications and released this program.

See, I did not receive one single application for this program.

Not one. And if I’m honest, it really made me sad at times. There were days when I was so firmly rooted in the magic of this program that every cell in my body knew that it would happen, I mean, how could it not? And, there were days where I knew with every cell of my body that it would not come to life, at least not how I had planned it up until that point.

I went through days where I felt fear and disappointment, joy and excitement, and other days I was just plain mad. “Seriously? I received this vision, this beautiful idea and I took action! I did all the things and shared with all the people and I HAVE A LOGO for crying out loud! How could this not materialize?”

Maybe a business or marketing guru will read this post and share with me all the reasons why I didn’t (or couldn’t) make this happen and all the things I could have done differently. (No need to actually do this, thank you.)

Yet, the answer is very clear to me: it didn’t happen because it wasn’t meant to.

It is as painstakingly simple as that. It simply was not meant to happen in this way, at this time.

Throughout this personally expansive journey that I have been on over the last few years, I’ve truly come to understand that the Universe only trades up. Whatever you envision for yourself, God has an even bigger and even more aligned plan for you than you could even begin to comprehend.

And the key to allowing that bigger, grander plan to unfold for you is simple:


That’s it and that’s everything. Trust that you are supported. Trust that you are loved. Trust that nothing is ever wasted or lost. Trust that your ideas and visions matter (because they do, whether they make a billion dollars or never leave your notebook), trust that you are loved, trust that you matter, trust in the Universe, trust in your self … trust, trust, TRUST.

So, today I reflect upon six + months of dreaming, visioning, trusting, sharing, believing, doubting, creating, planning and changing and I honor my disappointment with lots of joy.

In the end, I know that what’s meant to be for me, will be and I trust that with all of my heart.

So, perhaps I don’t get to journey alongside six women for fourteen weeks this spring and sit by the fire with them in Carmel, CA (although in many ways, I already did!). However, I do get to say that my trust in life is deeper than ever before and my excitement for what’s next is uncontainable (insert squeals of pure joy!!!) because if what’s to come is better than all I have envisioned, then I’m the luckiest gal around!

So my dear friend, it’s sad and hard and it downright sucks when what you want doesn’t happen. And it’s ok (usually in hindsight, not always in the moment) … but just know that it most definitely will be ok in the end, because if it’s not ok, it’s not the end. And trust, with all your heart and soul, that whatever is going to fill the space of that which didn’t happen is going to be incredibly, superbly, wonderfully and amazingly exactly what you need!

How exciting is that?!

In awe of you,


PS: I’m still holding the vision that the Trust Your Path Circle (or a version of it) will make it’s way to Italy in the fall!! I’m not giving up! Hey, once a dreamer, always a dreamer! ;)

Photo by Pete Bellis on Unsplash